Duh nuh....duh nuh...duh nuh..duh nuh..duhnuhduhnuh

In honor of shark week...Jaws is a visual of how powerful fear can be, and how wrong fear can be, how loud fear can be...

Fear, what a powerful thing.  Fear is the opposite of faith.  Fear used to be my go to.

In a previous post I hinted that I lead those I was paid for, but didn't truly lead my family.  Ouch!  That truth hurts, but that is the truth.  Fear used to motivate me, fear of saying no, fear of not "being liked", fear of failure.  If your leader is operating from fear, it is not a good thing for the followers, it is impossible to happily and successfully lead from fear and expect people to follow a fear monger. 

For years, for whatever reason this is how I lead my family, full of fear.  Thanks be to Him I no longer lead from fear, actually I don't have much fear at all in my life anymore, that has been replaced by faith.  I thought that "I" had to do it all, and without God not much is possible, but with God and his son Jesus, anything is really possible, but that takes faith.  You are to fear the Lord, I wish that was why I was leading in fear, that is a healthy fear, but that was not the case, I just lead in plain ol' fear, fear of the unknown and failing.  This caused a foundation of sand to be built under our house.  This destroyed me and hurt my wife when i confessed to her and asked for forgiveness.  I praise Jesus that my wife forgave me, without bitterness, for her understanding, and for her loving me anyways.  This is also something that hurt me as I confessed this to God, and both parents for my lack of leadership and leading my wife and family.  This hurt me because it was the truth.  This hurt me until I was able to forgive myself and realize that I cant change the past, but I can change our future, I can change my future.  I can change how I lead my family, not from a place of fear, but from a place of faith and works(insert James 1:22 here).  Thanks be to God he blessed our family and marriage with Agape love, or I wouldn't be here doing this right now, I wouldn't be able to say that though I stumbled, He put our feet on a rock and never let go.  Fear is in my past thanks be to God. 

This is where and how I operate from now, thanks be to God:

^{1 Samuel 12:24} But be sure to fear the LORD and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you....I am oh so grateful

I must serve the Lord faithfully with all my heart, with my heart full of faith.

Love, I thank you for not giving up on me to lead us.  Love, I thank you for your faith in Jesus to build me back up and lead our family how they deserve to be lead.  Love, I thank you for your forgiveness.  Love, I love you then, now, and always.

I ain't skeered, are you?

It is what it is, and this be it...