Starting Point

Psalm 139

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
 ¹ You have searched me, LORD,
   and you know me.
² You know when I sit and when I rise;
   you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
   you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
   you, LORD, know it completely.
⁵ You hem me in behind and before,
   and you lay your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
   too lofty for me to attain.
 ⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
   Where can I flee from your presence?
⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
   if I settle on the far side of the sea,
¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
   your right hand will hold me fast.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
   and the light become night around me,”
¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
   the night will shine like the day,
   for darkness is as light to you.
 ¹³ For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be.
¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts,^[a] God!
   How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
   they would outnumber the grains of sand—
   when I awake, I am still with you.
 ¹⁹ If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
   Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
²⁰ They speak of you with evil intent;
   your adversaries misuse your name.
²¹ Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD,
   and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
²² I have nothing but hatred for them;
   I count them my enemies.
²³ Search me, God, and know my heart;
   test me and know my anxious thoughts.
²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
   and lead me in the way everlasting.

Love is...

John 11

The Death of Lazarus

 ¹ Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. ² (This Mary, whose brother Lazarus now lay sick, was the same one who poured perfume on the Lord and wiped his feet with her hair.) ³ So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick.”
 ⁴ When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” ⁵ Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. ⁶ So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days, ⁷ and then he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.”
 ⁸ “But Rabbi,” they said, “a short while ago the Jews there tried to stone you, and yet you are going back?”
 ⁹ Jesus answered, “Are there not twelve hours of daylight? Anyone who walks in the daytime will not stumble, for they see by this world’s light. ¹⁰ It is when a person walks at night that they stumble, for they have no light.”
 ¹¹ After he had said this, he went on to tell them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up.”
 ¹² His disciples replied, “Lord, if he sleeps, he will get better.” ¹³ Jesus had been speaking of his death, but his disciples thought he meant natural sleep.
 ¹⁴ So then he told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead, ¹⁵ and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.”
 ¹⁶ Then Thomas (also known as Didymus^[a]) said to the rest of the disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.”

Jesus Comforts the Sisters of Lazarus

 ¹⁷ On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. ¹⁸ Now Bethany was less than two miles^[b] from Jerusalem, ¹⁹ and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. ²⁰ When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home.
 ²¹ “Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. ²² But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.”
 ²³ Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”
 ²⁴ Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”
 ²⁵ Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; ²⁶ and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
 ²⁷ “Yes, Lord,” she replied, “I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.”
 ²⁸ After she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. “The Teacher is here,” she said, “and is asking for you.” ²⁹ When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him. ³⁰ Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. ³¹ When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there.
 ³² When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
 ³³ When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. ³⁴ “Where have you laid him?” he asked.
   “Come and see, Lord,” they replied.
 ³⁵ Jesus wept.
 ³⁶ Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”
 ³⁷ But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”

Jesus Raises Lazarus From the Dead

 ³⁸ Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. ³⁹ “Take away the stone,” he said.
   “But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”
 ⁴⁰ Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”
 ⁴¹ So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. ⁴² I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.”
 ⁴³ When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” ⁴⁴ The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.
   Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”

The Plot to Kill Jesus

 ⁴⁵ Therefore many of the Jews who had come to visit Mary, and had seen what Jesus did, believed in him. ⁴⁶ But some of them went to the Pharisees and told them what Jesus had done. ⁴⁷ Then the chief priests and the Pharisees called a meeting of the Sanhedrin.
   “What are we accomplishing?” they asked. “Here is this man performing many signs. ⁴⁸ If we let him go on like this, everyone will believe in him, and then the Romans will come and take away both our temple and our nation.”
 ⁴⁹ Then one of them, named Caiaphas, who was high priest that year, spoke up, “You know nothing at all! ⁵⁰ You do not realize that it is better for you that one man die for the people than that the whole nation perish.”
 ⁵¹ He did not say this on his own, but as high priest that year he prophesied that Jesus would die for the Jewish nation, ⁵² and not only for that nation but also for the scattered children of God, to bring them together and make them one. ⁵³ So from that day on they plotted to take his life.
 ⁵⁴ Therefore Jesus no longer moved about publicly among the people of Judea. Instead he withdrew to a region near the wilderness, to a village called Ephraim, where he stayed with his disciples.
 ⁵⁵ When it was almost time for the Jewish Passover, many went up from the country to Jerusalem for their ceremonial cleansing before the Passover. ⁵⁶ They kept looking for Jesus, and as they stood in the temple courts they asked one another, “What do you think? Isn’t he coming to the festival at all?” ⁵⁷ But the chief priests and the Pharisees had given orders that anyone who found out where Jesus was should report it so that they might arrest him.

Never give up, never give in

Never give up, never believe you cant do it.  Have faith, take a hold of the olive branch that our savior provides, stop thinking and start believing. 

Freedom has been on my mind.  Take hold of the freedom that Gods right hand Son provides.  He came in grace not in condemnation, He has none.  He came to correct the law, the laws of condemnation.  He came to walk out in love, not hate.  He came to be the ransom for a people unworthy like myself, and you.  He came to offer freedom, God gave us the free will to accept the freedom his Son offers.  To have freedom, you must have faith, faith that you are not too broken for Him to redeem, or faith that you are not not broken.  Faith that your past and future transgressions are not too much for the Son to set free and give grace,

Proverbs 3

Wisdom Bestows Well-Being

 ¹ My son, do not forget my teaching,
   but keep my commands in your heart,
² for they will prolong your life many years
   and bring you peace and prosperity.
 ³ Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
   bind them around your neck,
   write them on the tablet of your heart.
⁴ Then you will win favor and a good name
   in the sight of God and man.
 ⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart
   and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways submit to him,
   and he will make your paths straight.

Never give up.  Never let love and faithfulness leave you.  Never believe that you are too far gone to receive the gift of peace and prosperity that He provides.  You cannot lean on your own understanding, because it is beyond our comprehension.  Take His freedom and bind them around your neck, replace your own understanding with the faith in our Savior.

Proverbs 16
⁶ Through love and faithfulness sin is atoned for;
   through the fear of the LORD evil is avoided.

Through Christs love and His faithfulness in you, your sin is atoned for.

Now what....hmmmmmmmmmmmm

Faith is something that is beyond our comprehension.  Faith is not a fantasy, faith is nurtured and grown by the Holy Spirit.  Faith grows as you believe, as you believe it will be.  We must keep the faith that our Savior can free us, that our Savior can and will redeem us.  I am living proof. 

I tried to outrun God and Jesus as long as I could remember.  He never forgot me, always kept the light on and the search parties looking.  It takes courage to have faith, it takes courage to humble yourself before God and say with your lips and heart, I cannot do this without you.

Well for whatever reason this computer just deleted about five minutes worth of writing, so I am changing direction.

If you believe and have faith with your whole heart, He will show up, he might even impart upon you the Holy Spirit.  If you read the Word of God you will find that all those who were healed by Jesus believed in their hearts with full faith that Jesus would heal them.  Do you truly believe, or is your faith in the laws?  Mine is in the Redeemer, Ive seen His work firsthand...in me.

Mathew 9
Some men brought to him a paralyzed man, lying on a mat. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the man, “Take heart, son; your sins are forgiven.” - When Jesus saw their faith...not their law abiding

Later in Mathew 9

Jesus Heals the Blind and the Mute

 ²⁷ As Jesus went on from there, two blind men followed him, calling out, “Have mercy on us, Son of David!”
 ²⁸ When he had gone indoors, the blind men came to him, and he asked them, “Do you believe that I am able to do this?”
   “Yes, Lord,” they replied.
 ²⁹ Then he touched their eyes and said, “According to your faith let it be done to you”; ³⁰ and their sight was restored. Jesus warned them sternly, “See that no one knows about this.” ³¹ But they went out and spread the news about him all over that region.
 ³² While they were going out, a man who was demon-possessed and could not talk was brought to Jesus. ³³ And when the demon was driven out, the man who had been mute spoke. The crowd was amazed and said, “Nothing like this has ever been seen in Israel.”
 ³⁴ But the Pharisees said, “It is by the prince of demons that he drives out demons.”

Theres those dang ol pride filled jealous pharisees...
Jesus got it, he came for the sick and broken hearted, not the healthy.  Now do not misunderstand me, I am not promoting law breaking, but I am not going to focus on it, rather I will take my example from Jesus and believe that the condition of the heart is of far greater importance than law abiding, as should you.

I came to help those who are lost find the path to Christ.  I received the gift of the Holy Spirit, and when that happens, you cannot keep it in, and you will know.  It is unlike anything else I have experienced.  I am here to build His kingdom.  Once your eyes have been opened to this, there is no going back friends, none.  For I know that I will face other trials in my life, and that is ok with me, I am unafraid because I have had my eyes opened.
It seems hard to grasp, but I urge you, have faith.  I urge you to pray to God to search your heart, to reveal the motivations of your heart to yourself and Jesus, to pray for a pure heart.  Get your heart revealed and redeemed so you can truly realize what faith really is.  So you can truly realize that binding faith around your neck is saying it is beyond your brain, replace our logic with faith in our Lord and God.  Without having faith you cannot expect, nor should you, to receive the power of the Holy Spirit.  To have your eyes truly open.  To truly live and experience freedom you must have whole hearted unadulterated faith.  I am oh so grateful.  Dont be afraid, it is far better when you truly experience what living really is.

I was just told to end, so donedy

It is what it is, and this be it... 

Get your glasses on

This is me, my take, take it or leave it, it makes no difference 

Visualization.  Success requires it, happiness, requires it.  Where you look, where you put your perspective is where your perspective, or your reality comes from.

Friday before Jackmans game, I had him sit down on the field and visualize what he was going to do before his game.  He kept talking about getting another interception, so I told him sit down right here and take a couple minutes to visualize how you are going to play. 

We get out on the field and he says, "im going to get another interception."  i tell him that "i dont want to hear your words, I want to see your actions."  Sure enough first play was a pass play, and he intercepted it!  He says "see dad i told you I was going to get another interception."

Visualization, what you see is where you put your focus which is far more likely to happen.  If all you see and anticipate is bad stuff happening, it more than likely will always feel like bad is happening because you arent focusing on all the good that is happening around you.  If you are always expecting the worse, you are putting your faith in the worst thing happening.  Its tough, I get that, but we must look through a different lens, a lens of where we want to go.  If I always thought that I would never be able to quit smoking pot, it would have been far more difficult.  But I had the perspective of looking at all the reasons why I didnt need it, compared to the reasons why I thought I "needed" it. 

We must put our glasses on for what we not only want to happen, but what we have faith in will happen, then stop chasing the fantasy that it happens on its own.  Jack didnt just see him getting another interception, he knew it was going to happen through executing his assignment, believing in himself, and listening to his coach.  He got it, he got his interception.

I challenge us all to put our glasses on to see the good around us, the possibilities around us.  I dont look at the bad in my life anymore, i dont look at the three kids hassling me for this and that.  I look at those beautiful faces saying to me that I am their provider, I am where their focus is because I can provide that here on Earth.  I look at the joy in the faces, the fact that a little owie may result in a big cry can be rather humorous to me.  All i have to do is provide comfort and a band aid to them and its all better.  Even toddlers get perception and visualization.  They visualize a band aid makes the pain go away, and sure enough with that band aid the pain then goes away.  They have the right glasses on.

i challenge us to look at where we see ourselves going, look at all the potential this gift of life provides us.  It is not a fantasy though.  If we are not willing to put the work in, we cant fantasize getting the results we want.  We must visualize that once I grab this shovel, once I sweat and work and get blisters, I will have the beautiful garden i envision.

I challenge all out there to "get your glasses on", look at the potential, then realize it.  Hard work is so gratifying, fantasies are not.  Visualization is required.  If I want the blessing of God, can I sit here and do nothing, or will I have to MAKE time to receive it?  I must make time, I must open the Word of God, I must do what it says.  It says to me, visualize success and blessing by hard work and obedience.  Just like Jack demonstrated.  He visualized, he obeyed his coach, he worked hard to get into position and fight off others for the ball.  It didnt drop in his hand while he was watching the grass grow under his feet.

It is what it is, and this be it...

Fantasy times are over

James 1:22

Do not merely listen to the Word and so deceive yourselves, but do what it says

Do what it says and you will be a blessed person, the desires and motives of your hearts will be revealed and come to fruition.

My family.  They are my life, they were and are my first priority on this journey to repair and build up after I woke up from my long slumber and pulled my head out.  A verse that hit me after I heard a pastor mention it was proverbs 28:19

Those who work their land will have abundant food,
   but those who chase fantasies will have their fill of poverty.

Back in the day, you had to grow your own food to survive, you had to work your land, you couldnt take time off and just dream things would happen, but you had to choose to act, choose to work, choose to reap what you sow.  So I took this and applied it to my life.  I wanted to repair my family, to build them up, to invest in them.  So what did I do, I began to work my "land", my family. 

First thing I did was hit up the gardens out front.  The house we moved into had been lived in prior by an avid gardener, when we first moved in, the gardens were a couple years out of being taken care of, but they were still beautiful.  Then my family multiplied by two, and I began to chase fantasies.  "one day this will look good again, one day I will do this and that, one day I will...".  I was DONE chasing fantasies, I began to work my land.  I spent hours upon hours doing work, digging, weeding, replanting, arranging.  I stopped with the mentality of I had to hire it out, I had to have money to make it beautiful.  I grabbed a shovel and went to work, I wanted to have a house that my kids were proud of, that my wife was happy to call her HOME.  All it took was me to get off my kiester and stop chasing fantasies and work, I only invested about $80 in mulch.  Was that it, $80 kept me from doing this?  No, the mentality of chasing fantasies kept me from working my land. 

After I completed the front, I began to work on the interior.  I rented a dumpster and unloaded the basement that had been flooded and flat out gross for over a year.  I had the same mentality of the basement, "one day I will...".  I was and am done with one days.  I am going to work my land and have abundant "food".  It took me about three hours, thats it, three hours of work is all...but my fantasies took a year with no results.  I then began to paint the interior and do the honey-dos that I had chased.  After the interior I went out back, which was literally a jungle.  I grabbed a chainsaw and went to town.  It looks much better, but it is a work in progress.  A work that will be completed by spring.  Now that the weather has cooled down it is time to get back out there and finish taming the jungle.

I am now working hard on my families finances, instead of chasing a fantasy that I will get promoted or all of the sudden I will "get" my finances squared away.  Nope, it requires work, it requires me having the mindset that I must work whole heartily at it, to sacrifice wants, so I can meet our needs.  For the first time in my life I can say I am not merely listening to word and deceiving myself, I am doing what it says...i am working my land to have abundant food

After I began to work my land and not chase fantasies big ol' fruit began to show in our family life.  After I began to not merely listen to the word and deceive myself, but did what it said, blessing began to come down upon us.  I am full of faith

Proverbs 28:20

A faithful person will be richly blessed,
   but one eager to get rich will not go unpunished.

You can apply proverbs 28:19 in many areas.  Stop dreaming and start working. 

I have a very dear friend who is a perfect example of James 1:22 and Proverbs 28:19.  He is one of three people who I can say whole heartily was a major contributor to my walk being back on the path of Christ and giving myself wisdom I needed in the darkest period of my life.  He is a true friend who will speak truth when needed and someone who is a great example of a pastor, he practices what he preaches, but also what Christ preached. 

He has a big dream, but it isnt a fantasy, it is a reality.  Where many people would stay stuck in fantasy land, he is working the land.  He is working his plan so his work, his LIFE, and the Kingdom of God will have abundant food.  His reality is to plant a church in a modern day Samaria, his dream is becoming reality, his dream is God sized, his dream will require Gods blessing.  He is working his land and God was, but will continue to show blessing on him.  Why?  because he does not merely listen to the word and deceive himself, but he does what it says.  His vision is going to become reality, his vision is exactly what is needed in Samaria, his vision came from above, his vision is being blessed from above, his vision is not a fantasy...

Those who work their land will have abundant food,
   but those who chase fantasies will have their fill of poverty.

I urge you, me, them. Lets stop chasing fantasies, and work our land.  As I pray for our government to gain wisdom, this verse hits home.  Lets stop chasing fantasies, lets do the work that is not only required but the Word of God urges, the blessing of God requires. 

It is what it is, and this be it...

Great Expectations

hmmmm, what to say what to write, what to write what to say?  No clue, itll come itll come.  hmmmm.  And here it is(after about 45 mins)

Mark 11

 ²² “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. ²³ “Truly^[f] I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. ²⁴ Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. ²⁵ And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

A couple months ago if you have read the blogaroo, you will remember that I headed out to the grocery store with $41 for a whole weeks worth of groceries.  Before leaving I prayed "Jesus, if you can take a couple fish and loaves of bread and feed thousands, surely you can take this $41 to cover our needs, amen."  Sure enough when I got to the cashier I was over $41, she asked "how much do you have....I'll cover the rest".  You see, I went to the store in expectation that my Provider would provide.  He did, he showed up and said I will provide.

Last night I heard something about a friend of mine, it blew me away.  I had to talk to him, i had to, so i did.  He goes out to "hang out" with lonely people, homeless people.  He just goes.  When speaking with him he said he just got it one day that if he doesnt walk that step forward he isn't giving God enough credit to show up.  He has an expectation that is inspiring, his take on it is expiring, he is quite honestly...inspiring. 

If I don't take the first step, how is God going to answer prayers?  If I don't expect prayers to be answered will they?  When I went to Aldi in expectation, He showed up.  When I said I do not need to smoke, He showed up.  When I need wisdom and know he will give generously, He showed up. 

All that is great and true, but maybe I need to increase my expectations, I need to increase them to great expectations.

God, you know the desires of my heart, I pray that you search them, remove all that are not of you, bring them to my forefront so I can bring them to you.  Thank you for showing up, thank you for my family, thank you for wisdom, thank you for sending your only son to be my example, thank you for sacrificing him for people that are unworthy.  God I pray this in great expectation, that you will not only cover my families needs, but our families family, I pray for single parents out there, please give them the perseverance that they need, please provide favor to them, please watch over the children and break the cycle.  Thank you for a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, food in our cabinents.  Thank you for my famliy.  God I pray humbly that you come down with Jesus and flex your muscle I pray that you show up to blow my mind, I opray that you come down to flex your muscle and do something that no logic can explain.  I pray that you provide wisdom for me to lead my famliy, I pray that you provide wisdom in finances, i pray that you provide prosperity, favoe anf your blessing in our finances.  I pray that you come down and do this that can only be explained by you, that there is no logic, that it furthers our testimony of who youa era and it furthers your kingdom.  I pray that you bless me to build your kingsdom, I pray that you remove the pride from me like a surgeon with a scapel, painlessly and leaving me healthy and alive.  I thank you for sending your son down here to face the biggest trial that anyman or woman has ever seen.  I pray for your wisdom, I thank you for everything that you have done in my life, for never giving up on me when you had every right to, for keeping within eyesight of me, for grabbing my feet and putting them where you want them, for carrying me when I needed it, for providing redemption, for giving me my wife for my children, for Jackman, thank you heavenly fatehr, thank you.  Jesus I pray that you prvide favor and blessing with my job, put me where you want me, help me further your kingdom, provide blessing, provide financial blessing so my family doesnt have to suffer for my dumb choices I made, so I can provide for my family.  I pray humbly in your only Sons name Jesus.  Amen

Ok, had no clue i was going to do that, but I'm going with it.  I have great expectations in my provider.  Jesus, in your name...move this mountain.

It is what it is, and this be it

Lombardis got nothing on my Coach

Football, how do I love thee?  Very much so.  Football is a passion of mine, coaching is a dream of mine.  To mold players into a winning team, to teach the importance of teamwork, and to see kids be as good as they can be at their particular moment, to reach their potential.  Ive been helping out on Jackmans team for the past couple of years and oh how I love it.  I coach the defense and its a passion of mine.  Im an emotional guy, so its a natural fit, the players feed off the coach and my players have an attitude of not giving up, trying their hardest, and relying on the teammates.

Last night we were involved in a slugfest, a back and forth no scoring game.  It was the second half and the opposing team was driving down the field.  Its a helpless feeling seeing that, helpless because you just want to intervene and do it yourself.  So the enemy was about to score, I hollered at a player to get in position and he wasnt listening, so I yelled "Jackson, get over here and cover, get the ball!"  The snap happened Jack got in perfect position, the throw, hands go up, Jack dives backwards, snags the ball and he aint lettin go.  His hands grasp the ball, he goes down and hangs onto the ball like a mother with her newborn child.  Yeah! Nice work Jackson! thats what I'm talking about.  Whats he do, he hops up and says "I did the triangle dad, I caught it, I intercepted it!"  You see Ive been working on him with proper catching technique, making a triangle with his thumbs and index fingers when going to catch the ball.  I was so so proud, but more than that I was so happy FOR him.  To have him see what happens when you listen to directions and practice whats been preached.

I bet thats how God feels when his child finally listens to him and executes.  I bet that is how God has felt in my life.  Due to my free will, there have been countless times where God has shouting at me, coaching me, and I failed to listen so the opposing team marches down the field on me.  When my back was against the goal line, the enemy about to punch it in, I finally listened, I went up and used the triangle of wisdom that God had been teaching me, I intercepted the pass.  As I sit here it struck me how similar my life had been to that series.  I ignored the coaching of the Holy Spirit, and did what I was going to do.  There gets to be a point in everyones life where it is make or break, backs against the wall, what do you do?  I looked to his Word, the playbook, and did what the wisdom said.  Not only did I intercept the ball, I popped up and Im running the other way for a pick-six.  I hopped up and said God, I did it, I listened to you, I used the triangle!  God sits on His thrown smiling ear to ear, Hes proud of me, but more so, He is happy for me because I am seeing the fruit from listening and doing what His playbook says.  I am seeing tangible results, I am getting it, what this whole obeying thing is about(James 1:22). 

I am still in a slugfest, a slugfest for life, but I know now to listen to the coach and obey the coach.  I am in His hands, I am a clay sculpture for Him to mold.  I am willing and I am able thanks be to Him.  God is no longer sitting on His throne with His hands on His head thinking, "my son what are you doing, just listen and do as I say, I am here to coach you, pull your head out, reach your potential"  God is now speaking into my mic and I am listening and seeing what a good coach He is, He has my best interests at heart, He will bring the desires of my heart to Fruition, now that I am obeying.  I'll still have to do push ups for spacing out, I'll still run laps, but hey I am more than happy to be on this coaches team.  It is His job to correct me, It is my job to listen and obey.  It is my job to listen and reach my potential, to become who He created me to become.

It is what it is, and this be it

Coaches are there for wisdom, because they know a little more than yourself about a given topic.  I am oh so grateful that God has provided the playbook of life called the Bible.  For any of lifes situations if you get over yourself and rely on the playbook and the Holy Spirit you will succeed in life by gaining eternal life.

A little honey for you

Wisdom.  Seek, listen, act.  The tough part of wisdom is acting on it.  Why, because when you seek it, you realize that you are not sure, that you do not know something, or you are looking for the answer to go against what you believe.  Why?  Because we are selfish people driven by our own needs.  Seeking and listening is easy, but when wisdom goes against your wants, what do you do?  Do you ignore it by putting your fingers in your ears and going "lalalala" like a child?, do you rebel with the mindset of "yeah I'll show you!", do you get upset because your needs go against your wants?   Or do you receive and then act, knowing it is probably not the easiest out of the choices?

James 1:5
⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. ⁶ But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ⁷ That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.

He got it, they got it, do you get it?  It took me years to get to the point to where I get it, but you see to become who I am created to be, to become me, to become a trailblazer in life, to become the leader of my family, to become able and willing to build Christs Kingdom there is no other way.  If you seek wisdom from God and do not follow through, do you really think he will provide favor to you?  Do you really believe he will have the desires of your heart come to fruition?

Proverbs 19:8
The one who gets wisdom loves life; the one who cherishes understanding will soon prosper.

See there it is again.  you will prosper if you get wisdom.  It does not say immediately, but soon.  Wisdom is not a impulse, but rather a path.

James 3:17
But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.

Wisdom is not the easiest path, but the foolish path is easiest.  To gain wisdom you must submit to it, going against your own wants, shelving them for the greater good.  Wisdom is impartial, it is what it is, nothing will change it no matter how badly you would like it to.  Wisdom is sincere, it is in the form of a helping hand, it has your best interests at heart.  Wisdom is considerate, it considers the end path which we cannot see and will direct you.  That is what is difficult about wisdom, it may not look like it truly matters, it might be a path up a 14,000er instead of the path through the valley.  When you reach that plateau though that was up the 14,000er you will see a beauty unparalleled, a beauty that you never dreamt possible, a pristine lake that no one is at with a pristine view.  The valley path ended up along a raging river with torrent waters and canyons on the side, no time to look at the view, but the only thing on your mind is surviving the day. 

Wisdom, its what I'm after, its what Im listening to, its what grants favor in your life, its what brings upon prosperity.  Wisdom, do not doubt it, but hop on board and get ready to prosper.

It is what it is, and this be it

Proverbs 24:14
Know also that wisdom is like honey for you: If you find it, there is a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.

Thank You

I am thankful for trials.  I say this knowing that trials rather suck during the time of them, but with the new perspective trials can bring, if you choose, I am thankful.

Romans 5

Peace and Hope

 ¹ Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we^[a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, ² through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we^[b] boast in the hope of the glory of God. ³ Not only so, but we^[c] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

You see, without trials, there would be no such thing as hope, perseverance, and building of character.  Sins and trials do not define who you are and who you are called to be, but the response to these is what makes a man or woman, it shows to the World and Christ the heart of us.  I can say this whole heartily that I am thankful for trials, I can say that as I have endured more than I thought I could, because I did, I endured more than I could.  I did not endure more than Christ and our heavenly Father could though, and that is the perspective my trials have brought me.  They brought me to a place where I for the first time in my life put my full hope in Christ and God.  They were beyond me, they got me over "myself".  I am thankful for trials.

Romans 15
¹³ May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

This is truth.  I can testify to this.  Once I fully put my hope in God and Christ, he moved in my life and my families life.  I have been filled with the power of the Holy Spirit once I completely put my hope in Them.  I have a new clarity because I look to my heavenly Father and Christ above all else.  No longer do I look elsewhere first, but I look to Them. 

I urge you to look to God our Father and Christ.  Get over yourselves, get over others.  Look to Christ and do not question it.  Embrace the truth that is written throughout the Word(James 1:22).  Embrace the truth that Christ suffered more than anyone prior or after and was rescued from God.  God knew the power and glory that comes from trials and sufferings, so much so that He put his only begotten Son through the biggest of trials.  It is your choice how you respond though, but I urge you to look to Christ, turn to His Word.  Start by praying, start by searching your heart, start by opening God to your heart, then listen and follow.  Just START!!!


It is what it is, and this be it...

I will leave you with this...

Romans 15:33
The God of peace be with you all. Amen.

sometimes, people are healed in an instant and like a lightening bolt coursing through their body they are freed of their ailments.  Jesus can do this; He can spit in dirt, make mud, and bring life to dead eyes.  I've known countless individuals who have not received this kind of healing--often the only form of freedom thought to be "miraculous"--who at the end of the day have surmised that God doesn't care, that He is overlooking their hurts.  i have been that person.  before truly understanding God's heart, i have cried out in the night "Father, why have you forsaken me?"  it wasn't until truly hitting rock bottom and sitting in the muck and mire of hopelessness and helplessness, that i was able to look back on my life and see the many times i failed to give God credit for guiding me through painful times.  and even then my spirit whined like a selfish toddler..."God, where are you?  have you forgotten me?  how long must i endure hell on earth?"  when my friend offered "long enough to know that He is the only way out" my flesh rolled it's eyes and stomped an immature foot.  in my mind, i ALREADY knew that Jesus was the only way; but in my heart of hearts, i was afraid that i wasn't good enough to be rescued, that He would leave me in despondence for the remainder of my time in this life.

to get me through the long days and longer nights, i did everything that i felt like God was leading me to do; i did countless hours of therapy and spirit rehabbing, i took medicines that had ridiculously humbling side effects like weight gain and acne.  i had many breakthroughs.  i put in months of daily trauma work and faced the things in my past and present that had eventually led me to a nervous breakdown.  i worked.  i put blood, sweat, and tears into conquering my demons.  and while God was beside me the whole time, often carrying me, i still felt unsure that i would ever really get back to my true self. 

in the meantime, God placed incredible people on my road to recovery.  i leaned on these people; i heard His voice in their words, i was confident in their prayers and in their help.  i recognized their place in my journey, their heart messages from Abba singing, "I am here, I am for you, & I am the way to freedom."  i also relied on modern science, on the medicines that were a crutch for my broken spirit.  i thanked God for the hospital i frequented, the place where i found some rest in knowing that i wasn't alone in my pitiful state.  i believe that God built that hospital for me.  i believe that He created brain shifting mechanisms in therapy and meds, to gently lead me back to wholeness.  too much had happened in my past, too many hurts and traumas.  humanly i could not get through smoothing those bumps in the road out, just as spiritually i couldn't succeed without a real understanding of His love for me.

almost a year later, i am living fully.  i retrieved the stolen lights from my eyes.  i stand on two feet, where once i hadn't been able to get off of my knees.  i see that God did in fact lead me though the most painful and self-doubting year of my life to have me victoriously sprint through the ribbon at the end of that race.  i am conscious of the devil and impressed by God.  for the time being, i'm therapy free and taking about an 1/18th of the meds i started on last year.  and in all honesty, i feel as though God did heal me in an instant; it may have been a very long and painstaking instant...but compared to what i was up against, it's pretty amazing how short lived that particular hour of crisis ended up being.

why?  how?  obedience.  faith.  perseverance.  will.  GOD.

kris

The Heart of the Body

So I've been kicking around whether to write whats on my heart or not for the past couple of days.  I was hesitant to write what has been on my heart for one reason...fear.  I am in a new place, a place of strength so after praying whether or not to write whats on my heart, here it goes.  I am unafraid, thanks be to Him

First I want to say that the meditations of my heart are in the right place on this, but because I am human my words may not be the best to convey the message, I pray and hope though that my words do not fall on deaf ears, that my words become His words, that my message will not be clouded by my language, but His message will come through.

Ephesians 4:1

Unity and Maturity in the Body of Christ

 ¹ As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. ² Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. ³ Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. ⁴ There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; ⁵ one Lord, one faith, one baptism; ⁶ one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

This is even more true when you have been entrusted to lead those to Christ by being entrusted with Christs bride, by being the heart of the church, by being the ones responsible for either pumping life into the Body of Christ or being the ones responsible for life in the Body to falter.  When I speak about church to those who do not go, but believe in Christ, it is often due to hypocrisy within the Brides leadership and spokespeople for the Body.  Being the heart of the Body is not a calling to be taken lightly.  It is your sole responsibility to further the Kingdom of Christ, to preach the message of Him through your actions in your day to day life.  Pastors are not true pastors because they can spit out scripture, but REAL pastors speak through their actions of humility, compassion, empathy, and most of all, LOVE.

Ephesians 4
 ²⁹ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ³⁰ And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹ Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. ³² Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

I call upon Pastors to check yourself at the door.  To check the ego at the door, and to check the "too cool for school" mentality at the door.  The heart and body of Christ have no room for this.  I fear that a trend had been happening for years within the Church, the Body of Christ had really been hijacked by Pharisees.  Professing to be teachers of the law, but by their actions professing that they do not truly know their responsibility of being the heart.  Pharisees were church leaders back in the day, Christ came in part to show the World that those who profess they know the Lord, those who profess to know the Godly way of living, those who speak through their actions that their way is the right way, are not truly capable of being the spokespeople for the Word of God, but do more harm than good.  I believe the pharisees back in the day truly thought they were building the kingdom of God, THEIR way was the right way. 

Matthew 5
²⁰ For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.

I hate to break it to you, but it is not YOUR way that is right, but it is Christs way that is right.  Just because you can spout out scripture does not make you worthy of being a leader of the body.  I can see through the facade, I am not the only one.  I pray that you check yourselves if you are entrusted with the title of Pastor, I pray not for me, but the Body, I pray not only for the Body, but the countless people in the World who believe in Christ but cannot find a body worth living for...I pray that you find the meaning of spreading the Word of God and being entrusted with the body to build His kingdom, I pray that you...

James 1:22 - Do not merely listen to the Word and so deceive yourselves, but do what it says

I am going to wrap this up, as I do not want my language to cloud the message that the Lord put on my heart, but I will leave you with this...

Matthew 5
¹ Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, ² and he began to teach them.

The Beatitudes

    He said:
   ³ “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
⁴ Blessed are those who mourn,
   for they will be comforted.
⁵ Blessed are the meek,
   for they will inherit the earth.
⁶ Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
   for they will be filled.
⁷ Blessed are the merciful,
   for they will be shown mercy.
⁸ Blessed are the pure in heart,
   for they will see God.
⁹ Blessed are the peacemakers,
   for they will be called children of God.
¹⁰ Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Now if this strikes a nerve...GOOD, mission accomplished as I know when the Word strikes a nerve with myself it is because my heart knows the Word is right, the Word is truth.

It is what it is, and this be it

Trust vs. Forgiveness

The Parable of the Lost Son

 ¹¹ Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. ¹² The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.
   ¹³ “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. ¹⁴ After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. ¹⁵ So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. ¹⁶ He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
   ¹⁷ “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! ¹⁸ I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. ¹⁹ I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ ²⁰ So he got up and went to his father.
   “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
   ²¹ “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
   ²² “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. ²³ Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. ²⁴ For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

I am the lost son, but I am now found. 

The second chapter of the parable, after the feast of celebration for the son coming to his senses would go something like this...

Son, I have forgiven you, but can I trust you to learn from the mistakes that you chose to make?  The son would reply "no, only through my actions and choices moving forward should you or be willing to trust me."   The son regretting not being trusted more than anything, but who is faithful with little will be entrusted with more, which applies to all facets of life...TRUST INCLUDED.  This is truth, but it can be a jagged little pill going down, but you cannot dispute the truth.  Trust takes time to regain, forgiveness should be immediate, as modeled by his father and Christ. 

It is time for the son to roll up his sleeves, change his ways(which happens to be on the radio at this given moment).  The dad and son spoke, set new boundaries and the son was willing to submit to his earthly father who had demonstrated that he is much wiser if the son is to become like the father, successful and worthy of being called a disciple of Christ.  So the son began to watch the father, to model the father, and to submit to the father.  There were times, that became less frequent as time passed, that the son might miss being irresponsible, as it is easier to live that way, on that given day.  The son refused to go back to his ways, instead had such a yearning to be worthy of being called this mans son, worthy of being celebrated for returning, worthy of being called a disciple.  It was the sons choice not to sneak past the fence, as if he was going to regain trust he must do it on his own, through his own choices, not like being a prisoner, his heart had to reflect his desires, his actions had to speak for themselves.  The son with time became a true disciple who through his experiences was able to further the Kingdom of Christ and his families legacy, the son became the man that Christ had set out for him when he was created.  The son who had free will learned the greatest freedom comes from realizing his errors and submitting to Christ.

The son is back in the fathers house.  The son is me.  The son is no longer lost, but found yearning like no man has seen

It is what it is, and this be it

I have been told I use too many commas

So its been awhile.  Not sure what to write, just sure its time so I guess itll come to me, hopefully.

Your mind, what a wonderful and dangerous tool, such a paradox.  The brain is the most powerful thing in the World, you all have heard perception is reality.  Well that is the case, what you perceive is true to yourself.  When getting ready to watch a scary movie, the anticipation is the scariest part, because what you imagine can be far worse than what you will see, because your brain can take something and run wild if you let it.  Sometimes I can not turn mine off, sometimes my perception is way off, sometimes I see what others think and believe, sometimes I am way off. 

Over the past few months on this journey I have been on, my brain has been the key, I am in the process of learning to relearn how I think, what is really important and what to use as motivation.  What I once held as important is no longer the case.  I used to do something to help turn my brain off, which then just clouded my brain even more and made it kinda useless.  I use to cloud it to push everything in a dark closet so I wouldnt have to face things or made it to where I couldnt "over think" anything.  I used to smoke pot...there its out.  It feels good to be able to say "I used to...".  I no longer do and I do not miss it, I am no longer held captive by it, no longer am I afraid that someone will find out, it has NO power over me.  It was wrong for me to do it, I have repented and it is nothing that will keep me from success, nothing I am afraid that someone will find out, it has no power over me anymore.  I identified myself with that for so many years I was afraid I wouldnt be cool without it, when in fact I was afraid to really turn my power on and use my full potential.  Why?  I was afraid of failing so my perception was I will just handicap myself so if I never succeed I have an excuse.  Thanks be to God I no longer have that fear, I am quite unafraid of anything now, but I still get rather frustrated with myself.

The one thing I am struggling with at this point in my journey is being aware that my brain can lie to me and learn to distinguish what is true and what is not true.  It gets hard sometimes to realize that my perception is not reality, but my perception.  I have been told that I need to learn to keep my mouth shut at times, which might be true.  The reason I do not, is if it is out there, my brain cannot trick me, taking a tiny little snowball and turning it into an avalanche.  By getting things out I am causing much smaller controlled avalanches to avoid a catastrophe.  I still am struggling with how open is too open, how closed is too closed. I have so much to share that God and Jesus have done in my entire life that I am trying to figure out what to say, what not to say.  I feel by sharing I might be able to help someone else figure something out, to help someone avoid pitfalls that Ive had to climb out of and still climbing out of.  The key I have found out is life is a marathon, I have embraced this actually, I might say even more like a triathlon, you have to know when to run, swim, and bike depending on the situation, and know when to rest.  It is easy for people who have not been through the same experiences to say"why dont/didnt you do this and that", that kinda just irritates me at this point.  I know where I am going, I seek others for wisdom on moving forward, not looking backwards, I can do that on my own thank you.  Most of all I seek wisdom from God and the Holy Spirit, as it is the purest wisdom, wiser than any humanly wisdom, it is wisdom I pray for every day and night followed by the ears to hear His wisdom and the eyes to see His direction.  In this journey of mine it is a slow process like an oak tree growing, but I am planted near a stream that is growing me taller and stronger with the biggest fruit this side of the Mississippi....in its season. 

I am rambling deal with it :), I will ramble on

"A man is worth his wages", something someone wiser than me said in passing that really hit me.  My largest source of frustration right now is my dang job.  I feel that is true and such a source of frustration right now, but it is frustration I have embraced.  I am thankful for my job, a decent paying job.  Due to some really dumb choices I made though it is just enough to survive, not thrive.  The environment I work in is the same, good enough to survive, not thrive.  It might sound weird that I have embraced this frustration, but its the truth, it doesnt mean I love it, but it is what it is.  i am here for a reason, this is a season of learning, a season of fertilizing and establishing deep roots.  I know I am getting ready to sprout the juiciest fruit, its already begun.  I know this because God has told me, he has told me, be patient and rely upon Me.  Thats the other thing, I have begun to look elsewhere but not whole heartily because something else I pray everyday is "come down and do something that can only be explained by you so I will be able to further Your kingdom, not mine."  He will provide, I am not worried about that, but I also tell him to "hurry up Big Guy".  He knows I am joking...kind of.  So back to the opening sentence, "a man is worth his wages", that is true, and very frustrating because I know what I am worth.

Next tangit...prophesying.  I have always been intrigued by this, always.  From biblical to Nostradamus to sports.  The key to success in sports is visualizing...aka prophesy.  Someday I will share, hopefully face to face, the multiple instances where this has happened.  I am a much bigger fan of communicating face to face, eye to eye.  You see some people misunderstand that prophesy is "word for word", not usually the case.  My instances are always visualizations, literally, in my head I will see something that is not happening at this time.  One instance was when a good friend of mine was talking about doing things you know are wrong and then Weekend at Bernies was spoke about right after that in the case of becoming the dead guy at Weekend at Bernies, just there but not.  That is such a great movie, it had been years since I had heard about it.  Well the next night when I was doing something I knew I shouldnt be doing with company that I knew I shouldnt be with, he started talking about Weekend at Bernies.  Holy cow...it hit me and God said "what else do I really need to do!?!"  Those two days are the only two days where I have either seen or heard Weekend at Bernies mentioned in probably 15 years.  The latest instance of this was yesterday.  On the way home I had a visual of a car accident happening, crossing the median and the black car ending up on its side and traffic coming at the roof of the car and my thoughts were wow there is no surviving that, getting hit on the roof.  Well last night wifey came up on an accident fresh after it happened prior to the rescue teams arriving.  It was a black car on its side with the roof facing the oncoming traffic, she nearly hit the roof, I mean nearly.  When she got home and told me this story God also told me you have the gift but do not know what to do with it or how to use it.

So like I said it was time to get back on here.  To write who knows what.  To write what I wrote.  Like it or not, it doesnt matter, I am supposed to be doing this

It is what it is, and this be it