Chapter 1

Allright, I give disclaimer this is raw, but it is real.

Who is God?  Are you a believer or not?  These are the basic questions. 

First I will start by saying, completely a believer.  For all I care He could've said, "I am God...pow" and big bad bang happened.  I am not here to argue my faith.  What next.  God made many attempts to show his power and love, whether it be dinosurs back in the day going off pure survival of the fittess, no brains, but good and evil.  He could have said "this is not me, this is not love", "i will create man".  Man was good, very good indeed.  But the God said "this is not me, this is not love".  God then creates woman from man and says to himself, "this is love".  God is God of ALL ages.

Who is Jesus?  Jesus is the pure and spotless Lamb, the one and only human connection to God the Father.  That is who Jesus is.  Jesus is leader of all humankind.  Name me one other person who has made the deaf hear, the mute talk, the lame walk again.  Silence, yeah thats what I thought.

Who am I?  I have wondered this myself my entire existence of about 31.  It was a struggle of both the "good" and "bad" of the world, and of the spiritual realm as well.  I was a good kid, shy, sweet, caring, and chubby.....let me tell you, that can make for a difficult childhood.  So i lived in the ghetto for the first seven or eight years of my life, come to find out a serial killer had been living on my block as I was growing up, Bob Berdela...or something like that, google him.  interesting character to say the least.  In fact such an upstanding guy who was a head of neighboorhood watch at one point.  We found this out when living in our next house in Olathe while the news broke when my Mom was making dinner.  Then there were two men in a homosexual relationship living next to me.  Am i a homophobic, no...do I agree with homosexuaity, no.  Do I judge, nope.  Thou shall not cast the first stone.  Thats not my place to judge.  Our house was real nice though, my pops put a lot of work into it and it showed, right accross from swope park as well.  After work was completed we sold the house and moved out to Olathe, Kansas when blackbob was a gravel road.  Google that if you want to as well.

After moving to Olathe I got bullied extensively by kids in the neighboorhood which spilled into the school a little as well.  At times these same bullies were my best friends though, and not all were bad, but then "cool" mentality would sneek in and it was quickly 5 or 6 against one.  The end to this then came to these friends came about when the "biggest bully" made fun of my chubby "boobies," fondly nicknamed joobs as we were playing nintendo.  Enough was enough I pushed him, he asked if I "wanted to take it outside", I said sure, we went outside and I proceeded to pummel him quite extensively and shattered a nuckle in the process.  Needless to say I felt justice, recieved no punishment, I was a "good" kid.  So I switched friends in junior high, quickly made two "best friends" which lasted until gossip ended that.  The cycle repeats itself in one form or another, serching for that relationship I knew existed.  Then in college I thinned out, joined a frat at K-State, because I was "getting out".  College was great, all around great, but I was still searching.  Searchng for the love that God created then expressed Himself through His only begotten Son, Jesus.  Needless to say I found that love, thanks be to God....my love

I am now 31 years of age, and coming to a season where you really find out who you are and what your "calling" is.  I am a happily married man of 8 years, blessed with three kiddos I adore, one of which Lola Lou happens to be laying by me on our dog Daisy Mae as I write this.  I always told my wife, I wanted one miny-her, and I got her.  She is so precious.  You will hear about her, Jackman, and Iz as this continues, that much I promise you.

So this is it, this is me, this is my take...raw and real